Le Kneiseux

Franco-American Stories
                        By  Dick Gosselin

Dick Gosselin has been telling stories as a Broadcast Journalist since age 14. 

On a hot Saturday morning in August of 1963 he did his first "on air" Broadcast over WTSN-AM in Dover from the offices of the Somersworth (N.H.) Free Press.   The Free Press in those days was in the so-called Rollins Block at the corner of High and Washington.  Ironically the building is directly across from 149 High Street where Dick lived from birth until age 10.   Sometimes you don't have to travel very far to find career launching opportunities.   The program was known as the Somersworth-Berwick (ME.) News.  It gave WTSN a shot at attracting listeners from Somersworth and Berwick which at that time had a cumulative population of about 10 thousand people.  Dick recalls that first newscast had........well.......we'll let him tell the rest of this and many other stories.

It consisted of 2 obituaries, some community announcements and a stolen car report I had obtained from Somersworth P.D.   I recall the script vividly: total value of the stolen car including the "full tank of gas" was $35.00.  

It all began with an obsession to get on the air.  Teachers, parents and employment counsellors tell kids, "you need to be focused and have a plan."   In my case I was so focused I didn't need a plan.  Like I said it was an obsession.  That means I couldn't be deterred by even logic.  My Father once told me, "What the hell do you want to get into radio for?  Go the the Navy Yard and get a pension."   Sound advice.  I think about it often lately when I see my friends who went to G.E. and the Navy yard.....all retired.  But, nothing was strong enough to deter me.  When you are focused or have a plan you will see and hear and feel opportunities you wouldn't otherwise resonate with.  What follows are opportunities I saw that I otherwise would not have seen.

I'd hear the WTSN announcer Nelson Bragg say "Time now for the Somersworth Berwick News from the offices of the Somersworth Free Press.  With todays news from Somersworth and Berwick, brought to you by Dion's Drug Store, here is Editor John Ballentine. "  When John was not there during the week  you would hear...."this is BobCullinane (Now retired District Court Judge-then U.N.H. student, reporter, advertising sales rep) substituting for John Ballentine." 

As a High School freshman I noticed that no one ever showed up to do it on Saturday.  The TSN announcer would then have to read regular national headlines.  So, during the summer of my freshman year I walked in to the Somersworth Free Press and asked John if I could do it.  "You appear awful young but you do have a nice timber in your voice" he said.   "I would check with the radio station to see what they think?"  Oh I've already been there I said  (neglecting to mention that it was to pick up records I'd won in a contest) and they said if it's alright with you it's o.k. with them.  "Oh I couldn't pay you."  Oh, I know that," I said.  Well why don't you come in on Saturday morning and I'll show you what I do.  I'll be here.

John had me make police and fire calls to find out if anything had happened overnight.  He said now why don't you write stories with the information you just gathered.   Handing them over I was a bit nervous having just yielded a D-minus in English for my freshman year.  (I didn't tell him that)  "Well now this is as good as anything I've seen."    Clearly this couldn't possibly have been true.  I had however done better in English than in my other subjects.  I failed all, shop to general math, except for phys-ed and English where I got the D-minus.   If you check the Hilltop Echo '63 edition you'll see me photographed with the Freshman class.  Check the '64 Hilltop Echo and you'll see my photograph in with the subsequent Freshman class.    I did make it out of High School in four years.  Technically I was never a sophomore.  Though I lacked the credits to become a sophomore I had enough at the end of my second freshman year to become a Junior re-joining my original classmates in the Class of '66.   Most kids then graduated with excess credits.  I had exactly enough.  That included the quarter credits I received here and there for things like carrying the school flag in the band.  I remember June of my senior year Ed Labee holding a stop watch  saying, "come on Gosselin you've got a minute and ten seconds to make it to the finish line or you don't graduate from High School."  I had strong muscular legs thanks to my one speed bike and the hilltop City hills.  I weighed nothing and could outrun my neighbor (in non sanctioned events)  Roger Corriveau who holds track records at S.H.S. that have yet to be broken.  So, with that, I graduated from High School and was able to move on. 

Meanwhile back at the Free Press office.  John Ballentine handed me the scripts he had just checked and approvingly asked If I'd like to go on the air.  SURE!!!!  

Before airtime I sweat more profusely than Albert Brooks in "Brodcast News."  I was drenched by airtime but pulled it off with only a couple of glitches.   I did the Somersworth Berwick News every Saturday for the next two years. 

This page was last updated on: October 13, 2007

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SOMERSWORLD
Madame Habel
When one thinks of the deal makers of the last century, Donald Trump comes to mind.  In my hometown of Somersworth, New Hampshire a certain Mrs. Habel crafted THE deal of the century. 

Arthemise Rheaume became Mrs. Arthemise Habel when she married Somersworth's future Mayor, Legislator and Storekeeper Napoleon "Paul" "Nap" Habel on July 1st 1910 in St. Martins Church.  Both likely shared savy for winning friends, influencing people and some sense of the market value of things.  Kids growing up in 1950's Somersworth   were drawn to "Paul Habel's Store" in the Chandler building beneath the Library.   I think Paul Habel could have started a National franchise system of Paul Habel stores.  What unique offerings he carried.  Penny Candy, lik-m-aid, fountain made vanilla cokes, 5 cent root beer, pea shooters in a variety of colors  and low end explosives packed in sawdust known as Atom Pearls.  These were volatile versions of todays "snappers."   Atom Pearls didn't just make a popping sound.......they were louder,THEY EXPLODED and sometimes a six inch flame was visible.  O.K. make that a four inch flame.  There were also a few easy to beat pin ball and baseball machines in there.  Not sure if Paul rigged them that way to draw customers or if it was just that the floor was not level where the machines were.

While Paul busied himself ordering explosives, pea shooters and lik-m-aid, Arthemise took care of the Habel household inventories like groceries.  Ray Vezeau had built himself a nice grocery empire by offering green stamps and free delivery.  Few were as personable as the employee he had deliver those groceries much of the time.  Armand Dubois had the customer service charm of a Ray Ferland (Black and White Market) or Barber Harvey Nadeau or Perley Giranis the Somersworth native who was an indispensable salesman at Shaine's shoe store in Dover.    I don't doubt that Armand's customer service skills built Ray Vezeau's business even more than S&H Green Stamps did. 

To get to Ray's Supermarket Mrs. Habel had to walk just under 3/4 of a mile and back.  In 1959 Grand Union Champagne's out of Manchester and East Patterson, New Jersey opened a store at Orange and Washington a little over a quarter mile from the Habel's High Street home.   At the height of opening day festivities Mrs. Habel told a Grand Union executive that she would shop there if, as Ray Vezeau did, they would deliver her groceries.  The deal was sealed that day.  As far as I know she is the only person Grand Union ever delivered for and I am told, they did it until the store closed or until Mrs. Habel passed away whichever came first.

Grand Union didn't come equipped with one of those Ray Vezeau mobiles with which to deliver groceries.  Since Mrs. Habel was the only person we delivered to, there was little justification for a special truck.  Delivering groceries usually meant walking with her and a cart to her High Street home.  I viewed it as a nice break during the day.  There was much guilt associated with this duty  however when Mrs. Habel chose a busy time to do her groceries.  She would sometimes do her shopping during those peak times, when all three check out's were operating.   If I left with Mrs. Habel, the only other bag boy had to sack groceries for 3 registers.   For much of my tenure there I was the only bag boy who spoke French so I was usually assigned to Mrs. Habel. 

This one day was ultra busy.  Customers backed up at the checkouts all the way  to the Meat counter.  A cashier gave the order.  "Dick would you walk home with Mrs. Habel."  Gosh....my poor co-worker....left to bag groceries for what seemed like five thousand customers all by himself.   I've got to get creative about this.  I know I'll box her groceries and deliver them on my Vespa Motor Scooter.  The look on her face....I thought for a minute I had personally driven her to once again shop at Ray Vezeau's.  "Tu vas casse mez ouefs!!!!!! Tu vas casse mez ouefs!!!!!!" (you're going to break my eggs, you're going to break my eggs.)  You know, she was right.  That's probably exactly what would have happened.  Oh well, it was a nice day for a walk.


                 Le Kneiseux
I was in the St. Martins School yard in the Fall of 1958 near the darkened alcove where the entrance to the Convent kitchen was.  I had no idea how vulnerable I was.  Out came a hefty nun dressed in white.  Everybody knows Sisters of the Holy Cross dressed in black....unless....you were the cook.  About half the Nuns spoke little or no English.  She was one of them.  Being closest to the kitchen's back door I was selected to run an errand I would never forget.

"Va sur le Magazin Turgeon pour mer cherche une boite de biscuit aux the."  (Go to Turgeons Market and get me a box of tea biscuits.  Biscuits we have with tea she clarified in French)  How would you have reacted???   Oh yeah tea biscuits, I know exactly what you're talking about!!!!!  So I asked: "Biscuits aux the??????????   "Oui," she said Monsieur Turgeon va savoire quesque tu veux dire."  (Mr. Turgeon will know what you mean). 

Well there were at least three Mr. Turgeon's at Turgeon's Market and not one of them knew what I was talking about.  After conferring with each other it was determined that I should go back across the Street to the convent to gleen more information.  Size, flavor, special markings....a brand name would be nice. As I walked back across the Street I had a feeling this errand would not be do-able.  When I told her that ALL
the Mr. Turgeon's had no idea what I was talking about she said forcefully:
"BISCUIT AUX THEE YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!" 
Now, I already told you she didn't speak English, so how could she have said "you idiot."  She didn't but the tone in her voice did.

Just then I heard a familiar voice from inside the kitchen.  It was my fifth grade teacher (french subjects) Sister Saint Apoline.  She might have chosen a different name had she known kids would come to call her Applesauce behind her back.  "Ah bien quis vous avez envoyez pour faire cette commission la?"  (Who did you send to do this errand?)  The cook pointed at me and said: "Lui."  (Him).  "Ah Mon Dieu!!!!!" said Apoline.  "Vous avez choisis le plus kneiseux de l'ecole St. Martin depuis dix neux cent deux."  (Oh my God, you have chosen the biggest....(there is no literal translation for the word kneiseux but knucklehead comes close) at St. Martin's School since 1902 (the year the school was founded)).

Finally one got on the phone to the market.  Undoubtedly across the Street was a long distance call in those days.  The switchboard operator on the second floor of the present day police station apparently spoke no French because it took them a while to convey that three digit number and letter.  (no dials in Somersworth until 1962)  Being bi-lingual I could have helped but at this point they felt I (being a kneiseux and all) would only confuse the isse.  What followed was a lengthly conversation with one of the Mr. Turgeons .  Finally they struck paydirt.  They told me to go back across the Street and the market would have those dog gone tea buscuits.  They did.

As I said, these nuns spoke little or no English.  Among the words they did not know were: Get me a box of Arrowroot Cookies -- Dick Gosselin
This is a picture of me (left) and Martin Chabot (right) making our First (Holy) Communion in May of 1955.  The Le Kneiseux story unfolded four years later a few yards to the viewers left.
LA GUERRE FROID
THE COLD WAR IN SOMERSWORTH
There we were, a giant target for the imminent threat of Communist invaders which were sure to come.  A giant Catholic school with attached gothic style church sure to be spotted by the invading Russians or Red Chinese.  Identified by our propagandists as "Godless Governments" they were sure to see our Ecole St. Martin (St. Martins School) and think of it no differently than they would a munitions factory or power plant.

I'm not sure if we felt safer because of the nearby Pease Air base with it's 509th bomb wing.  Maybe these days law or protocol covers such things so we don't hear jets breaking the sound barrier anymore.  It seems they stopped doing that long before Pease closed as an Air Base.  Back in the 50's it was common.  I don't know if this was something done to make locals feel more secure but with those giant old windows at St. Martins School and at the Commercial School in particular we always questioned whether it was our guys or their's making that noise. 

One day a jet flew over and we thought for sure those big windows would shatter.  There was a long pause and we swallowed hard unsure if what we had just heard was a bomb.  Sister Blanche Agness seized the opportunity and said: "Yes and someday boys and girls they will come."  Gosh I remember thinking, I hope I get to see William Castle's 13 Ghosts at the Uptown Theatre in Dover before they do come. 

Within four months of when the above picture was taken the U.S. and Russia were involved in the closest and most dangerous episode of the Cold War, the Cuban Missle Crisis.  How many times during High School discussions did I make the point that Nuclear Weapons kept everybody safe.  Wars were actually prevented because rational powers had destructive capabilities and that we could only hope that irrational powers would not get them in our lifetimes.  I urge you all to see "The Fog of War," featuring then Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara.  All rational people, Kruschev, Kennedy and Castro came as close as we've ever come to destroying the world.  I can't help but reflect that we considered Kennedy and his cabinet the "best and the brightest."  McNamara was considered the best of the best and the brightest......yet there we were involved in THE most insane shenanigans in the history of the World.  Sure we had to do what we had to do but we wouldn't have had to do it if we hadn't tried to invade Cuba and attempted to kill Fidel Castro.   I suppose he (McNamara) was the best of the brightest since he had the good sense to publicize in his old age via the Fog of War, lessons learned by the watershed warrior of our time.

During these cold war years I kept waiting for a Communist to come through our classroom door intent on throwing the room's crucifix on the floor, replacing it with a picture of Kruschev.  I pictured the intruder would be an Al Capone look alike only with stuble on his face and machine gun and machete at his side.

SPECIAL NOTE: in the photo above we apparently had just returned or were about to go to our eighth grade graduation rehersal and photo session.  Note the caps and tassels on the desk to the lower left.  Two special nuns were not featured in the class photo......Sister Ste. William and Sister Ste. Joseph De L'Esperance.  They taught English and French subjects respectively to us as eigth graders.  Our class was also fortunate enough to have had Sister Ste Joseph in the sixth grade.  Though she spoke not one word of English, I consider her the finest teacher I ever had.   These were two fine nuns (many were not so fine) who should have been included.  Instead we flanked Monisgnor Hector Benoit  with whom we had few dealings and certainly no bonding.

Every week we would get a Catholic Publication called "Our Little Messenger."   The overriding message from that Little Messenger was If we don't say the rosary every night Communism will come.  I can't help but wonder knowing what we know now if Mary (The Virgin Mary who allegedly told all this to the three children of Fatima) didn't mean McCathyism.  The real heavy anti-communist message came in a monthly Catholic comic book called "The Treasure Chest."  Kruschev and Chairman Mao these publications told us headed these terrible communist countries because their Fathers beat them as kids.  I remember in one issue there was a step by step illustration showing what the Communists would do when they came.  It showed these two Charles Bronson looking guys in fatigues blowing up the Washington Monument.  Next on their schedule was to break up every American Family.  The kids would go to Commie Camp for their indocrination and the parents would go to Adult Commie Camp.

Whatever was going to happen we were told was likely in a letter given to the three children the Virgin Mary appeared to in Fatima Portugal in 1917.  She allegedly told the kids to get that letter, dictated by Mary herself, to the Pope and tell him not to open it until 1960.  I remember watching the sun set on December 31st 1959 thinking it was going to be the last sunset I saw.

1960 came and went and nothing.  In the sixth grade Sister Saint Roland read us a newspaper account from somewhere that went nowhere except to say "The world awaits the content of a letter dictated by the Virgin Mary to three children at Fatima."  The Vatican had no comment.  Finally at a Conferternity of Christian Doctrine Class (Catechism Class) at St. Martins (for those of us who went to Somersworth High) the instructor told us the Vatican chose not to release the letters contents because it would cause "unnecessary panic."  Wow....try that with Wall Street.  The market I once read can take anything but uncertainty.  After a while Communism ran out of gas except in Cuba, Laos, North Korea and Vietnam and I don't think it paralelled any surge in Rosary recital.   

Finally Pope John Paul II released what was labeled the Fatima letters Parts 1 and 2.  All contained prophecies of things that had already happened.  It was a little like hearing the Lottery numbers after you find out who won.    It was comforting to see this lack of credibility especially when I feared on December 31, 1959 never seeing another sunset.  Then came the Internet and Google and the Fatima letter flooded the place.  One apparently unauthorized release spoke of World War III starting in the spring of 1997.  Another said it predicted the hostage crisis in Iran.  Another predicted the rise of Sadaam Hussein.  None predicted anything BEFORE it happened, only AFTER.   Bring the subject up on Goggle now and you will discover it is brain surgery and rocket science at the same time.  I found something on the Vaticans web site where Pope John Paul asked theologians to release the Fatima letter part 3 but with a theologians disclaimer.  The disclaimer read: No great mystery is revealed, nor is the future unveiled.  We see the Church of the martyrs of the century which has passed represented in a scene which is symbolic and not easy to decipher.

The Theologian's closed with "And so we come to the final question:  What is the meaning of the "secret" of Fatima as a whole (in three parts)?  What does it say to us?  The events to which the third part of the "secret" of Fatima refers now seem part of the past.  Insofar as individual events are described, they belong to the past.  Those who expected exciting apocalyptic revelations about the end of the world or the future course of history are bound to be disappointed.  Fatima does not satisfy our curiosity in this way, just as Christian faith in general canot be reduced to an object of mere curiosity.  What remains was already evident when we began our reflections on the text of the "secret" : the exhortation to prayer as the path of "salvationfor souls" and. likewise, the summons to penance and conversion.   The Theologians statement was signed by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger/Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith."  He's the Cardinal who became Pope Benedict XVI.

In my mind thus ended the cold war we all experienced in Somersworth.  While organized religion brings comfort to many there are times when I've observed it is as I read somewhere.....the last refuge of human savagery. 

NOTE! I was unable to make the following a click through link to the Vatican web page that has all of this in greater detail.  Copy-pasting it to the URL slot on your Internet Browser should yield the page however.

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20000626_message-fatima_en.html

Looks like a jovial bunch considering we were at the height of the Cold War!!!!!!
Back Row: Gerard Thibodeau, Robert Bisson, Roland Dubois, Paul Dubois, Bernie Michaud.
Next to Back Row: Frank Ferland, David Heon, Robert Bourgeois Jr.
Second Row: Jean LeBrun, Richard Fortier, Joey Bickford, Robert Noel, Rep. Richard Heon (D) Somersworth.  (We didn't refer to him that way then)
Front Row: George Fortier, Dan Vincent, Ted Poisson.